Tuesday, July 27, 2010
While Coleman's art is fascinating and iluminating... It is under no circumstances to be confused with the often controversial, disturbing and politically charged art of Joe Coleman.
Monday, July 26, 2010
"To facilitate the communal design of an affordable, buildable, maintainable, flexible, non-polluting individual transport vehicle that is either self fueled (manpowered) or be fueled by a source and quantity of that fuel that is sustainable on our finite planet. This is not in competition with other open source vehicle projects such as oscar or osgv but rather is a more grass roots approach than most. I fully support other open initiatives and in general the many worthwhile alternate projects out there. It aims to be a fun project with humble beginnings enabling production a very simple vehicle in its first iteration."
Sunday, July 25, 2010
The pataphysician will take nothing seriously, except pataphysics... Which is to take nothing seriously.
The pataphysician will take nothing seriously, including pataphysics... Which is to take nothing seriously.
There's a woman in jail in Escanaba, Michigan, United States of America.
She's in jail because she's poor -- too poor to pay her creditor.
Who is her creditor?
Her creditor is the court who says that she is liable for $104 for the monthly cost of incarcerating her 16 year-old son who is in a juvenile detention facility.
The woman is Ms. Nowlin. She was laid off from work, lost her home and is destitute. She survives by living with friends (along with her 14 year-old son) and picking up work when she can get it. She is $17,000 in debt and what money she can earn is garnished.
When Ms. Nowlin could not pay the $104 she was sentenced to 30 days in jail. She was denied a court appointed attorney.
She was given a day of work release three days after she was incarcerated so that she could pick up a paycheck for $178.53. She intended to pay the $104 with that paycheck.
However, the jail officials where she was imprisoned forced her to sign the check over to them to to pay for her "room and board."
When the 30 days of her current sentence are up she will be right back where she started -- unable to pay for the next 30 day stay for her son and able to be sentenced again.
This is one sad, sick world we live in.
The only thing that would make this story more Dickensian is if they had jailed her 14 year-old son along with her and if her 16 year-old son had been sent to prison for stealing a loaf of bread.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
The Velvet Revolution (Czech: sametová revoluce) or Gentle Revolution (Slovak: nežná revolúcia) (November 17 – December 29, 1989) was a non-violent revolution in Czechoslovakia that saw the overthrow of the authoritarian government.
On November 17, 1989, a Friday, riot police suppressed a peaceful student demonstration in Prague. That event sparked a series of popular demonstrations from November 19 to late December. By November 20 the number of peaceful protesters assembled in Prague had swollen from 200,000 the previous day to an estimated half-million. A two-hour general strike, involving all citizens of Czechoslovakia, was held on November 27.
With the collapse of other Warsaw Pact governments and increasing street protests, the Communist Party of Czechoslovakia announced on November 28 that it would relinquish power and dismantle the single-party state. Barbed wire and other obstructions were removed from the border with West Germany and Austria in early December. On December 10, President Gustáv Husák appointed the first largely non-communist government in Czechoslovakia since 1948, and resigned. Alexander Dubček was elected speaker of the federal parliament on December 28 and Václav Havel the President of Czechoslovakia on December 29, 1989.
In June 1990 Czechoslovakia held its first democratic elections since 1946.
The term Velvet Revolution was used internationally to describe the revolution, although the Czech side also used the term internally. After the dissolution of the nation in 1993, Slovakia used the term Gentle Revolution, the term that Slovaks used for the revolution from the beginning. The Czech Republic continues to refer to the event as the Velvet Revolution.
And Don't Forget: "Velvet 2" is coming
"I think it’s fair to name the Tea Party, Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin, the Christian Right, etc. parts of a potential neo-fascist movement in the United States. Their words and actions too often encourage attacks on people of color, immigrants, Muslims, LGBT folks, and anyone they don’t see as legitimate members of US society. Ultimately, many in this movement are pushing for a different social system taking power in the United States: one that is more authoritarian, less compassionate, more exploitive of the environment, more militaristic, and based on a mythical return to national glory. This is not a throwback to Nazi Germany. It’s a new kind of fascism, a new American fascism (emphasis: Pinko™). And it’s a serious threat."
Pinko™: Amen Brother! ...And remember: Power to the People!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
I don't know who or what this Grant Czerepak is but we're clearly oscilating on the same wavelength. A brief glance at his blog reveals that he is a (among other things) a Taoist, a synesthete, and the author of a book entitled: 14 GA (Outlining the "periodicity in 14 billion years of evolution using brevity and clarity").
Check him out: http://relationary.wordpress.com
This is so cool!
Turn Me on Deadman researches and documents everything from "Paul is Dead" to the "Dark Side of the Rainbow" and influential roots of all those Led Zeppelin songs. And: unlike Pink0™ - they even cite references!
"In the Journal of Popular Culture, Michael E. Roos provides a more likely explanation for the imagery of "I Am the Walrus". Roos points to Lewis Carroll's influence on John Lennon. The nonsense lyrics to this song take on new meaning when interpreted through the lens of Carroll's poem "The Walrus and the Carpenter" along with John Lennon's growing cynicism about the Summer of Love ideals and the Beatles' role in popular culture. In Carroll's poem, the walrus and the carpenter lure youthful, unsuspecting oysters to follow them only so they could eat them. John saw a connection with the Beatles' relationship with their fans and the walrus and the carpenter taking advantage of the innocence of the oysters. Their young unsuspecting fans were looking to the Beatles for answers but Lennon had none to give, so he came to see the Beatles as con artists. The Walrus regrets playing such a trick on the oysters and he weeps for them ("I'm crying," John sings in "I Am the Walrus") but he continues to eat them nonetheless."
Just like a Capitalist™ to feel bad but keep eating. No wonder so many Americans suffer from obesity and high blood pressure. I wonder if there's an article on the site about "Shaved Fish" [ ;p ]... Or better yet: "REVOLUTION"
From: Negativland - "Free"
Given Negativland's very public stance on copyright law, Pink0™ is pretty sure he can offer this song for free download without upsetting them or inciting a lawsuit.
So here it is: Negativland - I Am God
More sharp observations from Grant Czerepak:
"If you read the indepth biographies of Winston Churchill, you will discover that the man suffered from a mental illness called Bipolar Disorder. Yet despit a life of political defeats, he was able to win the Prime Ministership and successfully lead Britain in its time of greatest need against the Nazi war machine with the words, “Never, Never, Never Give Up.” Churchill’s strategic insight during the Battle of Britain and his compelling speeches are still studied by leaders around the world today.
Abraham Lincoln’s indepth biographies also reveal he suffered from a mental illness believed to be Bipolar Disorder. Yet despite repeated failures won the Presidency and even after the death of his wife, led the United States through the greatest national crisis it ever faced, The American Civil War. His memorial in Washington D.C. reveal a man of profound depth of thought and compassion for his countrymen. He is regarded as one of the greatest Presidents the United States has produced.
Differing orders of the brain are often hard to distinguish. Especially when studying accounts of historical figures. Often different brain order societies claim that the same historical figures had their particular brain order. An interesting truth is we all exhibit traits of every brain order. We just exhibit them to varying degrees.
My theory is that all mental orders are varying forms of Synesthesia. We need a new Science to Recognize, Classify and Apply synesthetic abilities.
What is Synesthesia?
Synethesia is the combining of sensory perceptions and logical relations.
Who has Synesthesia?
We all do. Have you ever described a color of light? Have you ever described a fragrance of perfume? Have you ever described a taste of wine? Have you ever described the nature of a sound?
Have you ever used your imagination in any way? Have you ever dreamed? It is all facets of Synesthesia. Some is just more common than others.
We are confusing mental difference with mental illness."
What Grant fails to observe is that the American Medical and Pharmaceutical Industries deliberately promote such confusion because they are Capitalsist™ theives and hucksters - the modern day equivalent of Snake Oil™ salesman.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
2009-November-28 — grant czerepak
I am going to share with you my secret that made me a Chief Executive Officer.
When I was a child everyone told me there was a God and he loved me. They told me I could talk to God at any time and he would listen to me and he loved me. They told me God would answer back and he loved me.
I was filled with joy. I played with other children happily. I listened to my teachers and I was the top student in the class. I talked with everyone and enjoyed talking about the deepest issues with adults. Everyone I dealt with told me I was a genius and I told them I was.
Then some dumb ass came into my life and told me there was no God. He told me God did not love me. He told me God did not listen to me. He told me God did not talk to me. He told me I was stupid. He told me I could not talk with adults. He told me I was not a genius. He told me I was mentally ill. He told me I was physically sick. He told me I did not know how to take care of myself. He told me people were evil. He told me not to trust others. He told me people of other colors of skin were evil. He told me people who told me they believed in the same God as me, but called him another name were evil. He told me my life had no meaning and I did not belong in the Universe. He told me I had to take medication. He told me my air, water, food, clothing, home the whole world was poison and it was trying to kill me. He told me I had to be locked in a hospital and tell doctors and nurses, family, teachers, politicians, employers, coworkers that I was disfunctional and if I didn’t agree I would be thrown in prison and if I didn’t agree I would be tortured and killed.
I believed this person and my life became a living hell. Every person on earth has done this to me in one way or another and my life became hell. And you and I and everyone have done this to every person, animal, plant and everything in the Universe in one way or another.
Manipulating the Macroprosopus - On Metapolitics and The Comodification of Love - How Capitalists Use Color Theory Get their Nut
This is because traditionally, it worked pretty well. In the days of the monarchy, as long as the king gave 'the people' what 'the people' thought they wanted (i.e. pandered to their greed and self-interest), the people would allow all manner of taxation and authoritarian control over their lives. That is because kings had no actual power, save for the power that was invested in them by the people of the kingdom. Thus the king was an avatar of his people. A foci for their hopes, fear, dreams and desires. As long as their king was bathed in the finest things and was surrounded by enough 'pomp and circumstance', the people felt that they too prospered by proxy. Thus the court was the original cybernetic control mechanism, playing god to the public psyche for the benefit of itself.
Of course, then the enlightenment happened and everything (supposedly) changed. While this feels like ancient history to most 'modern' Americans, monarchy is still very much a real institution in many parts of the world and as such, the techniques that monarchy has traditionally used to maintain order are still being used to this day. The only difference is that - in our modern day, so-called 'democracy' ("the best democracy that money can buy") - it is not the court of kings, but rather the parasitic political dynasties and their capitalist cronies that uses these tools to control us.
In spite of our great technological achievements, the American psyche is still very much hopelessly mired in old traditions. Organized religion, patriarchy, domination and control. Which is to say that much of the time, when it comes to the subjects of politics, religion, technology, science and the economy, the average person has a very hard time making sense of it all (Pink0™ included) - this is largely because many of us are collectively viewing the issues through the dusty old filters of an essentially sixteenth century, feudalist, greed-based mindset. As a result, when it comes to politics, the average American is completely inflexible to the point of lacking adaptability. Most people only really seem to understand the two patriarchal poles of self interest and authority. And as a result of these impulses in the mind of the public, these are the only two types of power that the rich really understand how to wield.
The problem stems from the fact that this is an overly simplistic, shortsighted and utterly useless paradigm for a global, networked world in ecological peril. People are finally waking up to the fact that 'command and control' policies actually create and foster the very political revolt and violent uprising that they are designed to control and undermine. For example: warmongering, the US' imperialist and interventionist policies in the middle east have pretty much fostered an entire generation of people over there that think America sucks and who don't really want anything to do with us. This is of course because their voices are not heard and their story seldom gets told. Even though we are ostensibly 'spreading democracy' what we have actually done was to take over their country gut it and sell it off to America Inc™. Why? Because we needed oil to power our HumVees and to keep our economy rolling. We needed red blooded American males out there driving to Wall Mart to buy more Axe™ Body Spray. We needed to keep the dream alive for another generation of kids.
The Kids Are Alright!But if you actually talk to the kids, many of them will say: "Hey, this shit is fucked up". They will tell you that they believe in real democracy, the ones we were taught to believe in in our schools. "Land of the Brave, Home of the Free". Not "Land of Rape and Honey". Not patriarchal land of ruthless pirates and thieves. And they feel guilt. Real guilt. They (we) genuinely feel bad for people like the average Iraqi Citizen, who prior to being invaded by gangs of ruthless thugs with smart bombs and drone planes, probably didn't harbor too much anti-American sentiment at all. But some part of our collective psyche wanted them to hate us as much as it secretly hates itself. Of course, it does not even realize this as it's still wearing 'guilts own blinders'. You can tell someone is wearing these when you say something 'socially conscious' to them and they in turn, get a perturbed look on their face and break eye contact with you. This is the awakening of slumbering guilt and a mixture of fear and confusion at having encountered it.
Pink0™ does not mince words.'The Kids', (ie. anyone under 65 with half-a-brain - i.e. who are not Republicans or racist tea bags) are alright!... Mostly because 'the kids' are by-and large green when it comes to their attitudes regarding important issues like the environment, human rights, the economy, et al. However, the kids know damned well that their voices are not being heard. They've known it since well before the sixties and they know it now. In some important ways - Not much has changed. But what they want to know (what we all want to know) is: Where the hell are our green, state-subsidized jobs!? Where the hell is our socialized health care?! Where is our energy-efficient light rail system? Where are our morals as a country (and no, I am not talking about sex or 'foul language' on television)?! "We want the world and we want it! ...Right?!"
As old EdMcMahon would say: "You are Correct Sir"
"If the Kids Are United..."We traded slavery for wage slavery. We finally got the civil rights legislation we wanted and the corporations used it pit worker against worker. We finally got the equality for women we wanted and corporations wasted no time opportunistically using it as a wedge to destroy the family selling young mothers the Orwellian dream of Have it all Barbie™. The ensuing Latch Key Kids hit the streets in droves and Punk Rock was born! Indeed, there are many consequences - intended, unintended or otherwise.
So where are you going with all of this Pink0™? You told us you were going to give us Macroprosopus, Metapolitics and The Co-modification of Love. So tell us! How Capitalists Get their Nut?
By ripping us off via 'money magic'. Sleight of hand. Three card monte. By 'stealing the green' so to speak. Politics are just a Shell Game (`scuze me: BP, whatever). You have to figure out which of the 3 shells (politicians) contains your issue and when you're distracted, it gets passed-on to the next. It's also a lot like 'keep away'. You give the politician your ball (vote) thinking that he or she will toss it back in the form of legislation that helps you - but instead, the politician tosses the ball to his rich neighbor (corporations). Basically, he'd rather be friends with that kid `cause that kid has a sports car and a swimming pool. Thus, politicians always fatten themselves and their friends and golfing buddies by vampirically feasting on the political capital of the people. Capital that was originally set-aside to build a better future.
Manipulating the Macroprosopus
Lucifarian Gnosticism observes that "god" (i.e. the closest thing to an actual 'supreme being' that can actually be empirically, scientifically, observed to exist) is in-fact: the aggregated collective will of the people (technically: the aggregated, collective will of everything, but it seems unlikely that we'll be giving dogs or trees a vote any time soon). Thus, from a purely humanist perspective - the body politic (the collective will of the people) constitutes 'Macroprosopus' or the "upper face of god". 'Microprosopus' would of course, be the mind or will of the individual. In other words, from an epistemological perspective, collectively: We are ALL god (Macroprosopus).
'The man' knows this and is really quite adept at manipulating this system on both Macroscopic (societal) and microscopic (individual) levels. This is done behind closed doors via what are now known as the fields of cybernetics and generalized systems theory - together with their correlates: information theory, data mining, data modeling, politics and propaganda (all corporate media). This is the real purpose for which computers are - and have always really been - built. Mapping and manipulating the body politic. It's not a conspiracy because capitalists don't need to 'conspire' as such (though, technically - any meeting that takes place behind closed doors could be considered 'conspiring', as could any business deal. So, in that sense: capitalism is itself a conspiracy by it's very definition). They simply follow and propagate the meme of 'Rational Self Interest' (greed and laziness, the ties that bind) and then let the invisible hand of the market (our buying habits) automatically do the manipulations for them. Once 'stochastic resonance' has been achieved, you'd be amazed what metaprogramming cyberneticians are capable of.
But outwardly, it's still just the same old red and blue game. Vote for the king or vote for the queen but you have to vote for one of us even though neither of us actually represents you, your family, or any member of your class - but rather - only represent the interest of Capital. Thus, we have a zero-sum prisoner's dilemma. A no win situation for the people, a win/win for the politicos. Thus, the only people that benefit from professional politics are professional politicians and their corporate sponsors.
Of course, the traditional, 2-dimensional, 2-axis political spectrum as it's typically represented doesn't have the institution of corporations listed anywhere on it. It tells us the difference between "authoritarianism" and "individualism" and attempts to show us where these concepts seem to intersect with "progressive" and "conservative" ideals, but it doesn't even attempt to address: haves, the have-nots, corporatism, labor, or the staggering impact of technology.
Thus, a more accurate mapping of the actual body politic would probably more closely resemble a sphere, a hexagon, or an isometrically projected 3D cube as a gradient color-wheel - similar to what one sees when choosing a color in Photoshop. The hexadecimal color chart (below) that web developers use to quickly find the color codes that they are looking for is also a great example.
Color theory is important because Americans sub-consciously attach a great deal of importance to the symbolism of colors. Especially when it comes to the old Red White and Blue. The most effective subliminal messages are the ones that are hidden in plain-sight. Thus, the very name Glade Plugins constitutes sex in advertising.
In color theory, we learn about the difference between radiant colors (from a light-source - like say for example: a red light bulb) and reflected colors (reflected off of an object - like say for example: a red apple). Due to the physics of light, colors behave very differently in the two different contexts. For instance: if I shined a red light and a green light on the same spot, I would get yellow light. Whereas if I mixed red and green paint I would probably get some horrible grey or brown color. The explanation for why this is the case is long, involved and outside the scope of this document.
Suffice it to say, the political will of the people is a lot like the behavior of light - bright, shiny ideas over here, fiery rage of there. But what you actually get back from the political process after capitalists, lawyers and politicians have taken their cut (of the top, mind you it is capital after all) is a lot like reflected light: instead of a bright future, we get dull colors and washed-out hues. Instead of bright green technology, golden education and bright-red socialized health-care, we get the browns of contained water and unusable farmland, the dark blues of unemployment and the bleak greys of suburban sprawl and an ever expanding sea of concrete. Just like what we are collectively doing to the environment.The kings and their courts of course, knew all about the significance of colors. Hence, purple is a color symbolizing royalty, as kings were often clad in red and queens in blue (for example: queen of the Catholic Church, The Virgin Mary and the bright, 'royal blue' tunic that is so often associated with her), the Fool was of course, often clad in bright green or pink or some other garish color and so on... Ancient societies being far more insightful than we often give them credit for, figured out that with the right pigments and the proper presentation, they could easily captivate all of those poor people who had probably never seen even seen colors like cobalt blue or electric purple. Back then, just to look upon such colors was quite a treat to the ancient people who's lives were often about as exciting as eating unseasoned goat stew and gruel. Surely, anyone who's garment's blazed with such fluorescent glory were truly a representative of the gods!
By deciphering and codifying this psychological control technique. The ruling class was able to pass on this information to the next generation of autocrats. As such, it is still with us. It constitutes a segmentation or de-granularization of the aforementioned political color-gradients into a set of flat, intersecting color fields that no longer represented what people actually think about politics - but rather, what we think that we think. In other words, it became possible to manipulate the body politic by 'coloring' things to look like other things (as in the expression: "smear campaign"). This goes along with political doublespeak: for instance: calling corporate-socialism: "free market capitalism". Those who remember the book '1984' will recall Big Brother sayings things like "Freedom is Slavery", and so on...
Fast forward to modern day America™. You cannot turn on the news or watch a dot of political coverage without being smothered in reds and blues. Apparently, the news media thinks that our political spectrum looks like this:
But why these colors? Why red gren and blue? Because believe it or not, the human eye is basically only capable of seeing 3 colors: Red, Green and Blue. This is because we only have 3 photo-receptors in our eyes: Red, Green and Blue. Thus, human beings as a species are subconsciously, biologically programmed to think in terms of Red, Green and Blue, though most of us are not even aware of the fact. Thus, we are biologically programmed for an RGB Democracy.
Red, being at one end of the visible spectrum, blue/violet at the other, and green smack-dab in the middle. The visible spectrum displayed in linear fashion, is illustrated in the chart below. As you can see, if you go past red - you get into 'infra-red' (wavelengths of light that are no longer visible to the naked eye) and so-too, in the opposite direction you get 'ultra violet' (also invisible to humans - except when reflected off a phosphorescent object).
Take the GREEN PILL, Neo!
(Prefferably Marinol or Ginko Baloba, avoid corporate petroceuticals at all costs)
Cold war era Capitalists™ and Communists are basically the same greedy, patriarchal, authoritarian pig, just dressed up differently in competing color-schemes. The Communist Pig was - like Iron Man™ - Red and Gold. Why Red and Gold? Red, because red symbolizes war, blood, fire and control - MARS. The Communist Pig was a bloodthirsty tyrant that crushed his own people under an Iron Fist (we don't hear about it as much as we do with the Nazis, but guys like Stalin were also responsible for horrendous atrocities inflicted upon the Soviet people, death camps, et al.). Gold, because in an enormous, ostensibly "Communist" society, one then needs a 'central planning authority'. These guys (of course) end up becoming an elite political over-class (gold)... And now look: we're back to the very same class-ism that Communism was supposed to do away with.
The Capitalists™ PIG - still going strong - is of course, Red White and Blue:
Red because in spite of all of his talk about "free markets", what he really wants is "Socialism for the Rich": he wants the state to look out for him and his corporate cronies, who will then of course be "free" to bleed the American people (and the 'developing world') dry like a... Well, like a stuck pig. Red also, because many of us are warlike savages who just want guns, meat, pussy, football, beer and Grand Theft Auto! Red is - and has always been - Mars, the war god. Thus, the red in our flag is the red of our own autocracy. Our own personal form of Communist dictatorship. Except here, it's the GOP. "Destroy the family-" Lenin said, "-and you destroy society". Echoing Socrates, Engels and Marx before him, he set out to do just that, hoping that a new society - with the State as the ultimate father - would replace the family as a sort of bureaucratic father-figure. Sounds a little like our public school system.
White because traditionally, that's who America has always really represented: rich white people who want the state to look out for rich white people and their corporate cronies - who will then of course be "free" to bleed every other race in America (and the 'developing world') as well as the poor, the sick and the disabled like dry like a... Well, like a stuck pig. White also, because of the white-collared criminals who constitute the establishment. White symbolizes variously: bones, teeth, stones, "cleanliness", "order", "surrender" and "purity", as well as "Kether" and the 'planets' Pluto and Mercury (as in a 'mercurial plutocracy').
Blue (with stars) because, in spite of all of our talk about "freedom" and equality, he US has always been sort of a police state. In fact, all states are police states, that's what a state is. Thus, a government without police is like a cop without gun - which only works if no one has guns. [Good luck with that by the way you true blue liberals out there. If you think you're going to take away the guns of the American people, you're going to have an uphill battle. Between the constitution, the police, all of the private militia, and gun loving guys like Pink0™, nothing short of high powered microwave weapons wielded by an army of robotic drone soldiers is going to get US to give up those arms. (Then again, the technocrats have successfully developed high powered microwave weapons and armies of robotic drone soldiers, so it will be interesting to see how long it takes for them to unleash them on the American people a la 'Terminator' or 'Hardware'). Blue of course, symbolizes: authority, state-power, "law & order", police and judgement. Blue is - and has always been - Jupiter, the authoritarian patriarch.
Personally, if I had a choice (which apparently I don't, or I wouldn't be ranting about all of this on my blog) - I would not be handing my political power over to Mars (war) and Jupiter (law). There is already more than enough laws and wars in the world. Not that I believe in representational government (I can represent myself thank you) - but if I had to pick a style of leadership and an associated planet / color / symbol to go with it - it would be Green, Venus, Stella Matuna, the planet of brotherly and sisterly love, harmony and understanding. Or, as the ancients called her: Lucifer, the light bringer.
And if not her, then Mercury, the "messenger of the gods" (aka: 0 - the F00l).
The history of the pregnancy test is a meaningful history embedded in magic, myth, politics, and science. From ancient Egyptian to modern times, the pregnancy test holds a cultural omnipresence that forces women to confront their fertility, femininity, and their future. Today we know that a pregnancy test that detects the human hormone known as human chorionic gonadatropin (hCG) offers the quickest and most accurate result for determining pregnancy. HcG is secreted by the placenta after the fertilized egg implants in the uterus and can be detected in both urine and blood. Urine pregnancy tests are convenient for home use, but a doctor may also opt to test blood as it provides a quantitative hCG number. Both methods are highly accurate and common. Pregnancy tests, however, were not always so accurate or so culturally accepted.
Ancient Egypt Papyri and the First Pregnancy Test
Four thousand years ago, Egyptians developed the first diagnostic test to detect a unique substance in the urine of both women and domesticated animals. Perhaps the most famous Egyptian pregnancy test is the germination test which involves the female urinating onto bags of wheat and barley. The Berlin Medical Papyrus asserts that “if the barley grows, it means a male child. If the wheat grows, it means a female child. If both do not grow, she will not bear at all” (Bayon 1939). When scientists tested this theory in 1963, they found that 70 percent of the time, the urine of pregnant women did promote growth (Tannery 2007). The Berlin Medical Papyrus also suggests that a woman should have her nipples and skin examined for unusual pigmentation, or that she should drink milk from a woman who has borne a son (and if she vomits, pregnancy is confirmed). The Kahun Medical Papyrus, containing 17 fragmentary medical passages, suggests placing a woman in the light of a doorway to determine pregnancy by the color of her skin. It also says to “grasp [a woman’s] fingers in thy hand and grip her arm ...if the veins within her arms beat against thy hand, thou shalt say: she is pregnant” (Bayon 1939). Several of these pregnancy tests reappear in Hippocratic and pseudo-Hippocratic medical practices in various forms.
Hippocratic and Hellenic Schools
Both the Hippocratic (or Coan) and Hellenic pregnancy detection methods are very similar to the Egyptians'. While Hippocratus (460-370 B.C.) may or may not have written the Corpus Hippocraticum, the aphorisms concerning the Greek’s pregnancy tests are considered genuine. As in the Egyptian papyri, one of these aphorisms (Aphorism XLI) suggests giving a woman a type of milky drink (Bayon 1939). Another asserts that a woman is pregnant if there is transference of odor from a perfumed genital wrap to the mouth and nostrils. (Variations of this are also seen in the Talmud.) The Corpus Hippocraticum also contains a section titled “About the Barren Woman,” which discusses various pregnancy tests modified, again, from the Egyptians (Bayon 1939). Hellenic pregnancy tests are essentially identical to Greek practice, and it can be surmised that Egyptian medical practice reached the Romans through Sicilian Greek colonies. Galen (A.D. 129-200 or 216), a prominent physician in Asia Minor (present-day Turkey), accepted the description of Hippocratic pregnancy tests, and his work had a lasting influence on the transference and application of testing in the Middle Ages.
Middle Ages and the "Piss Prophets"
The Middle Ages used perhaps slightly more empirical techniques but, for the most part, pregnancy testing was Hippocratic practice largely stultified by charms and home remedies. Middle Age pregnancy tests can be characterized by an emphasis on urology, or the nonscientific method of visually evaluating urine. Avicenna (981-1031), a Persian Muslim physician, modified the Egyptian germination test by sprinkling sulphur on the urine to see if it would breed worms, and in Europe, physicians who claimed to diagnose pregnancy by the color of urine became know as “piss prophets”(Leavitt 2006). In a 1552 text, pregnancy urine was described as “clear pale lemon color leaning toward off-white, having a cloud on its surface.” Other tests included mixing wine with urine and observing the results. Indeed, alcohol reacts with certain proteins in urine, so this may have had a moderate success rate (Tannery 2007).
Among the many fascinating scholars of this era stands Albert Magnus (1206-1280). His text Secreta mulierum or De secretis mullerium, printed initially at Cologne in 1478 and many times after, says to give a suspected pregnant woman a sweet drink before going to bed; if she complains of pain in the navel in the morning, pregnancy is confirmed. Magnus says that it is important not to tell the woman the purpose of the drink because women are cunning (astutae). In his Deconceptv Et Generatione Hominis et Iis Quae Circa, Jacob Rueff of Zurich modifies Magnus’s test but also adds one of his own. He describes a needle or nettle rusting red or black in a woman’s urine as an indication of pregnancy (Bayon 1553). It is important to keep in mind that during the Middle Ages, physicians thought the body was constituted by the four humors rather than by hormones. Therefore, they would read urine the same way they would read the four natures—by observing how they looked. Still, Egyptian and Greek medical texts are clearly echoed in the Medieval period.
Nineteenth Century Brings Some Progress
Nineteenth century physicians still practiced urology, but tended to bring more rational and scientific approaches to detecting pregnancy. So, “rather than try to determine pregnancy by changes in urine color or how it might mix with alcohol, they focused on the presence of bacteria or crystalline structures as seen through a microscope” (Tannery 2007). While these scholars also studied the actual reproductive systems in more detail, the discovery of hormones was still at least 200 years away. Consequently, for sexually active women, the best method for diagnosing pregnancy remained observing their own physical signs and symptoms. It wasn’t until the late 1800s that physicians began to talk about chemicals or “internal secretions” of certain organs. English physiologist Ernest Starling (1866-1977) named these chemical messengers "hormones".
The 1920s: "The Rabbit Died" Because of Bioassays
After the turn of the century, scientists in several independent European labs began to recognize a hormone that is found only in pregnant woman, which they called hCG. To identify hCG, scientists developed bioassays, or special tests using animals or live tissue. In 1928, German scientists Selmar Aschheim (1878-1965) and Bernhard Zondek (1891-1966) developed the very first bioassay pregnancy test, known as the “A-Z test”, which identified the presence of hCG in urine. To test for pregnancy, a woman’s urine was injected into an immature rat or mouse. In the case of pregnancy, the rat would show an estrous reaction (be in heat) despite its immaturity. This test implied that during pregnancy there was an increased production of the hormone. Maurice H. Friedman (1903-1991) replaced rats with rabbits and would inject urine into the ear veins of a female rabbit (Bayon 1939). If hCG was present, the rabbit ovulated within 48 hours. Unfortunately, the only way to observe this was to kill the rabbit. In the Hogben test developed in 1939, a female African Clawed Toad was injected with urine and if the woman was pregnant, eggs would appear. The bioassay tests were expensive, required the sacrifice of an animal, and were slow, often taking days to get results. The tests were also insensitive when measuring hormone levels to diagnose pregnancy because of the similarity between hCG and another substance, luteinizing hormone (LH). Most bioassays were in fact unable to distinguish between the two hormones except at extraordinarily high rates of hCG (Vaitukaitis 1972).
1960 and the Immunoassay
In 1960, L. Wide and C. A. Gemzell developed the first immunological pregnancy test. Because it used antibodies rather than animals or live tissue in the testing process, this test was an immunoassay rather than a bioassay. The test used purified hCG mixed with a urine sample and antibodies directed against the hCG. In a positive pregnancy test, the red cells clumped, displaying a particular pattern. This test was much faster and cheaper than the old bioassays, but still relatively insensitive, especially for early diagnosis of pregnancy. The problem with this kind of test is that some substances in the urine can give a false-negative or a false-positive test (Viatukaitis 1972). In 1970, the Wampole immunoassay test became available to physicians but it also required test tubes, syringes, and other items that made it unsuitable for home use.
1970 and the Radioimmunoassay
Most doctors in 1970 used the Wampole test, but that was about to change. In the early 1970s, National Institute of Health (NIH) scientists who were working on finding a tumor marker for certain cancers in which hCG was secreted discovered a new method for pregnancy testing. One of the researchers, Judith Vaitukaitis, found that what made hCG different from LH and other hormones was its “beta subunit.” By creating an antibody specific to that subunit, they could develop a test that not only accurately confirmed pregnancy but also identified precise levels of hCG. This was called radioimmunassay. The results were published in the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology in 1972 and immediately became public, paving the way for home pregnancy tests.
Home Pregnancy Tests: From Novelty to Norm
Warner-Chilcott's e.p.t. test would be the first on the market at the end of 1977 and sold for about $10. Still, a woman was required to mix her urine with solutions using test tubes, and the procedure was rather complex, requiring a few hours for the result to appear. Accuracy rates were still questionable and false-negative results were relatively common. With improvements during the 1980s and 1990s, soon the "home chemistry" mixing-mess was replaced with one-step formats in which the test could be contained on a single “strip” on a handheld applicator. Urine would be absorbed through the anti-hCG antibodies and across a control line (color band) that would appear if the test was used properly (Tannery 2007). Different symbols (plus-sign, line, etc.) in the test area of the strip would indicate a result with 10 minutes or so. Newer tests could detect pregnancy around eight to ten days after a woman ovulates.
The home pregnancy test brought about what Susan Leavitt calls the “private little revolution,” but this little revolution was not universally applauded. As a state official insinuates in a 1978 Consumer Report, “There is no reason to buy the e.p.t unless [a woman] doesn’t want to be seen at the health department” (Leavitt 2006), suggesting that only immoral women with something to hide would need a home test. Before Roe vs. Wade, the test was associated with illegal abortion clinics, known as “Jane” in Chicago, or radical groups in California who organized trips to Mexico for abortions. Pharmacy companies tried to change this image by arguing that home pregnancy tests would be a positive addition to the health care field by increasing early prenatal care. Advertisements also started to focus on the pregnancy test as the focal point of a joyful family event.
Today, women have a wide array of testing options. The beginning of the twenty-first century saw digital pregnancy tests along with clinical-style testing strips that are both highly accurate and affordable. Not surprisingly, home pregnancy tests show no sign of going away soon. The privacy, accuracy, and speed of the tests, as well as the rise in expensive fertility treatments and anxious women who have been delaying pregnancy to work, have led to a rapid increase in sales (Leavitt 2006).
-- Posted December 10, 2007
Bayon, H.P. 1939. Ancient Pregnancy Tests in Light of Contemporary Knowledge. Proceedings of the Royal Society of Medicine. XXXII:1527-39.
Leavitt, Sarah A. 2006. A Private Little Revolution: The Home Pregnancy Test in American Culture. Bulletin of the History of Medicine. 80.2:317-45.
Tannery, Allison. 2007. A History of the Pregnancy Test or Is the Rabbit in Heat? Accessed: November 18, 2007.
Vaitukaitis, J.L., G. D. Braunstein, and G. T. Ross. 1972. A radioimmunoassay which specifically measures human chorionic gonadotropin in the presence of human luteinizing hormone. American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology. 113:751-8.
Monday, July 19, 2010
This Chick has Balls!
Not only is she courageous enough to blog about the difficulty of living in an inherently evil (greed-based) society, she even had the cajones put her little photo up next to it.
You Go Girl!
I have experienced times where my economic status left something to be desired. I have been on food stamps, welfare, gone to the food bank to feed my children, gone to a local church to get warm clothes for my kids for winter and signed up with the Salvation Army to have Christmas presents for my children. Yes, I did live a life at one time, it seems eons ago, where I was proud, maybe even arrogant, but, as the old saying goes, pride comes before a fall. I have learned humility over the years, particularly the last ten or so. It seems at times that Life has humbled me time and again. I have gained, though, a certain strength of character that can only come from experience and hard times.
What has repeatedly amazed me is the way some people feel they can treat me because I have come to them for help or they see me as someone ‘poor.' It seems that there is a distinct economic bias against those who are poverty stricken. Apparently, we are unable to comprehend what is told to us, we cannot think for ourselves and we are uneducated and stupid. Well, I can assure you that I am not stupid. I may currently be having some economic troubles, but I have a college education and am quite intelligent.
Case in point: I once signed with an agency that will provide free prescriptions to those who cannot afford medication. I called the place to see how long it general takes to pick up a prescription that had already been called in to be refilled. I had been at doctor's appointments all day, since early morning. I was in poor health and had had several medical tests run. I was actually calling between appointments and was on my way to another appointment. When I spoke to the woman on the phone I told her that I had to get the medication and she told me, "Well, you knew that you had this appointment this afternoon, you should have gotten up and come by here this morning." I was taken aback. I felt compelled to explain to her that I had been at appointments all day and this was my first opportunity. She still kept her haughty manner. It seems that when you must go to such an agency to get help they can treat you any way that they wish.
Another time I got food stamps in Louisiana. The worker talked down to me from the beginning. I was polite and kind to her, but she called me the day after my case was approved to tell me that she went ahead and approved me even though I did not provide the information that she told me to provide. I told her that I had given her everything that she had put on the list and she told me I was a liar. I had the list in front of me and I told her that she had no right to call me a liar. She told me I should tell the truth.
These are only two examples of how I have been treated as a person of a low financial status. However, an impoverished wallet is not indicative of an impoverished mind, values or feelings. Certain people seem to look down on those who have financial difficulty. If you are on food stamps to feed your children or need help with medication or bills or necessities, some people who work at these agencies seem to get some sort of God complex. They display an attitude that indicates that they feel that just because they are not in such a position that they are somehow better than the person that they are ‘helping.'
Let's see, I shower, dress neatly, smile, speak with proper grammar and am friendly. I do not try to intimidate people by using an extensive vocabulary or talking over people's heads. I don't talk down to people. I look people in the eye. I am kind and respectful to everyone, poor, wealthy, behind a desk or on the street. In short, I give no one any reason to treat me the way that I have been treated by those who ‘help others.' Over the years I have had a husband who did not work, was a single mother looking for work, got laid off of a great job and was ill and could not work. I have also worked but my salary was not enough to pay the bills and feed the kids. In the real world you can't always wrap someone's life in a neat little package, all cut and dry. There are circumstances and hardships. Things happen.
Don't get me wrong, there are some people who are pure of heart and truly want to help others. They do not present any bias, are warm and make everyone feel comfortable. They treat us as equals, as if they know that were they in the same position that I would do the same for them. They act as friends, no lectures, no condescending remarks or belittling. They are truly refreshing and those are the people who are really helping others. They are the ones who inspire people like me to help others. They are the true saints.
You can't buy your way into sainthood by looking down your nose at the people you are helping. Do you think that we don't have any pride or feelings? I would like to ask these people, what makes you so much better than me? Is it because you have a job? Is it because you don't have to worry where your children's next meal will come from or how they will be clothed? Or do I make you think that someday it may be you in that chair. It is something to think about, you know. One day you have it all and in a blink of an eye it can be taken from you. Then it will be you on the other side of the desk, while someone just like you talks down to you, treats you like you are not human, treats you like you are stupid.
I don't respond to these people who treat me badly. See, this ‘stupid poor person' has integrity, strength of character and a good deal of intelligence. I see past the rude, haughty exterior to someone who is intimidated and fearful. See, I represent reality, a reality that they don't want to face. I am the reality that it can happen to anyone at any time.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Someone asked me recently - a nice young lady whom I have correponded with briefly regarding Gurdjieff's brand of esotericism: "How would your revolution start?"
First off let me start off by saying: Many of the contents of this blog might sound a little crazy to the uninitiated. But the truth is: none of it is any crazier than what much of mainstream America believes: than an authoritarian, anthropomorphic 'god' runs a spiritual dictatorship by which one must follow blindly in order to be 'saved'.
Nor is any of it crazier than the things that come out of the mouths of people like Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin or anyone on Fox News. While some of it's a bit esoteric, it's nothing that can't be researched and easily digested by anyone with average intelligence. And since many of our readers have a grounding in the esoteric - I don't really imagine that anything here will seem terribly bizarre to them.
Suffice it to say, truth really is stranger than fiction - even when the fiction in question is a Philip K. Dick novel.
The Archetype of 'The Jester' or 'Fool'Apparently dear reader, I am an avatar for the archetype of 'The Fool' (0, aleph, Loki, Trickster, Green Man, et al.). The jester / genie who peers into the depths of things like some sort of shaman / savant and then tell us the wh0le truth - albeit, veiled in mockery. The problem with being a Fool, is that almost no one ever listens to you or takes you seriously. The great thing about being a Fool is that as a result, you can litterally say almost anything you damned well please because so few are actually paying any attention. The wise however, listen to the Fool very carefully for - if they are truly wise - they know that the Fool's brilliance is infinite - extracting meaning from the vapours of nuance the way a plant soaks up moisture from the soil.
Occasionally a Fool says too much, pisses off a 'king' and loses his head, but such is the lot of the Fool.
It was not until quite recently that I came to terms with my ability to play this role. I always knew I was 'special', but I figured it was some sort of rare, undiagnosed learning disability like Aspergers Syndrome or ADD. Turns out, much of that stuff is simply memetic cybernetics designed to sell you pharmaceuticals and/or therapy sessions. A disease calling itself the cure. Ahh, Capitalsim™!That stated: The revolution has already started.
That's the cool thing about revolution: As long as there's populist rage to fuel the fires and enough relatively intelligent people who care even a little bit about the world that they live in, the flywheel is always spinning. The trick, of course - as with any feat of architecture or engineering - is properly harnessing the energy, while simultaneously minimizing unintended consequences.
This particular incarnation of the revolution probably started with early beat poets and radicals and of course, zenithed in the sixties. Until it was slowly and gradually crushed/co-opted/cajoled by Corporate America™'s increasingly subtle/panoptic grip on the American psyche, which went on throughout the 70s, 80s and 90s - a time period during which the revolution (at times) found itself so drunk on the hedonistic nectar of Babylon that it hardly remembered anything was ever wrong . But when 9/11 hapenned it woke up abruptly. So abrubtly that was immediately put on lockdown during the Bush administration, at which point it went into a self-destructive tailspin brought about by panicked disbeleif at the direction everything was headed.
Luckily, it landed safely and found a place to rest and lay dormant so that it could gather strength and figure out a game plan. It was not ressurected again until quite recently (8-8-08), when it was stirred to wakefulness by the sound of more of the Corporataucratic, Bush-era policies that it had warned us about coming home to roost. Briefly, it became 'hopeful' - and by extension - somewhat complacent when Obama took office. But once it saw the same 'business as usual' coming from Washington, it realized that the time was at hand. Thus, between the unemployment rate, AiG, BP, the Tea Party, et al... it has recieved a STRONG influx of (admittedly, largely non-cohesive) social capital.
"Sounds like quite an undertaking, starting a revolution"
People don't start revolutions - revolutions find them. Which is to say: These things have a life of their own. One only need be as commited as the demands of the revolution dictate. In fact, doing anything beyond that is suicidal.
"The Beginning was the End"
Apparently, someone or something heard this conversation (probably a Haliburton mole in the NSA - after all, The Fool's father being quite a Fool himself, had once tried to steal arms for the Black Panthers and since The Fool had already tried to start the revolution once or twice before - he was pretty sure they'd both been under surveilance ever since). Sure enough, only 12 days later (4-13-10)... His father was found hanging from a tamarind tree.
"The King is Dead: Long Live the King"
Whether or not his father had in fact secretly been crucified by 'Nova Criminals' shall forever remain a mystery. Either way, it was The Empire that had taken his father's life. The Capitalist Conspiracy and it's gaping post-modern jaws - devouring love, meaning and every other living thing in it's endless quest to comodify our entire planet and beyond. If they could sell us the oxegyn we need to breathe, they would.
So that pretty much settled it for our protagonist - FUCK THEM! This meant war! (and by god, he meant it this time) War on the Corporataucracy. War on Capitalism™. A New Velvet Revolution. A suicidal quest if there ever was one, but so what? It wasn't like he had a job.
Like more than a third of Americans (unemployed, underemployed and otherwise barely making ends meet - but with little or no political power and even less interest in poloitics to do anything about it), he had little better to do than to sit come up with new and interesting ways to revolt. Now he just needed to find the people who were in that same boat and put together a meeting.
SO, here goes:
As a gnostic/atheist raised on science, comic books, secular humanism and periodic exposure to organized religion. The Fool (Pink0™) may never see eye-to-eye with mainstream, fundamentalist Christian America, and certainly not fundamentalist Islam either. The Fool rejects all dogma. However, he will do his best to speak to them the only way he knows how: by hijacking the Judeo-Christion mythos and reinterpreting it through gnostic/secular filters as a symbolic framework for political revolt. This is not unlike what Marcus Garvey did when he propogated the meme known as Rastafarianism. Except that instead, this shall be Lucifarianism (as in: Gnostic/Secular, Christian Mysticism - Scientific Illuminism).
Prometheus RisingThus - statecraft being the highest form of magick - my godform shall be Lucifer/Jesus, the light bringer and the light. My planets: Venus & Mercury. My banner is the Green Harlequin (pink and green, pale-blue and red, or yellow and blue depending on the issue at-hand). My symbols are the Green Nautical Star, the Axe, the BP logo, as well as the Hebrew letters Aleph; Tauv and Shin, The Jester, the dual-dodeca/icosahedron, goats (the other lamb meat), the lion, bulls, bears, buffalo and bison, Gaia, The Whole Earth Catalog, Stuart Brand, cEvin Key, Bob Dylan, The Beast, 66.6, 33.3, 99.9, and a whole slew of others too numerous to list. I am the meta-meme, The Meta-Politician. The reconciler. My sole purpose is to herald the dawn of the coming order.
Thus, I have given myself one year to start a ball rolling. Or: until 6-21-11 - I actually launched on the Summer Solstice (my birthday) - so we're already a few weeks in. Thus, I have about 49 weeks left to gather up enough support for a direct (non-violent) action against 'Lucifer Sam' (aka: the Corporataucracy, or: USSA, the TRUE Beast). Obviously, it might take a little longer, but why not get a jumpstart on the 'Mayan Apocalypse'?
Too bad it's such a foolish quest - I'll probably just get shot hauled off by the gestapo. Besides - chances are, most Americans are too lazy, cowardly, stupid or apathetic to answer the call.
Originally Posted: Thu, 18 Jun 17:13 PDT
Satanic Sexual Ritual
Date: 2009-06-18, 5:13PM PDT
Looking for a woman with evil appetites.
We will have nasty, evil, sweaty, probably illegal sexual encounters in order to bring about the rise of Lucifer. (ie Satan)
Must be willing to do all styles of sexual positions, except Missionary. That is the Lord's Way, and we will have none of that. Besides, if we do it Missionary, Satan gets angry and a kitten dies. I like kittens.
Must be into anal. For that is Satan's Alley. Must like blow jobs (Swallowing Lucifer's Gravy) and Hand Jobs (Milking the Evil Goat)
Must be into slight S&M (Safe word: Pink Sock)
Must be into erotic and evil costumes and lingerie. Leather Thongs, spikes, boots, black and evil bras that accentuate your bosom, Boba Fett costumes.
Must be willing to deep throat. (So that my satanic appendage will be closer to your black soul)
Must be into strap-ons so that I may feel the "Power of Beezlebub" coursing thru my lower intestines.
The perfect encounter will be this:
Meeting you at one of our local eatery's. Plying you with ample alcoholic libations. Enjoying a nice piece of animal flesh. Tipping the waiter only 10% instead of 15 to 20% (Because we are EVIL!) Taking you back to my lair. Removing your Gothic Garb, laying you roughly upon my "Sacrifice Altar" (Twin size futon), and promptly begin to nibble on your Satanic Slit. (Please shave before the ritual, as it's hard to be evil when you got pubes stuck in your fillings) Whence you are all moist with the Power of The Dark Lord's Juices, I will remove my cape and trousers and proceed to fill you with the Sceptre of His Infernal Majesty. You will writhe in pleasure so deep, it will call forth the Evil One himself! After 4 to 7 minutes of the most intense sexual experience of your God Fearing life, we will perform a Satanic Snuggle, until you gently fall asleep in my powerful arms.
If this taps into the Primordial Jelly you have buried deep down in your Dark Soul, then contact me and we will make beautiful, agonizing "love" together. We will combine our desires and perform rituals so evil, it will awaken the Evil Ancient One from His Firey Nap! He will spill forth from the Bowels of Hell like so much premature Satanic Ejaculate!!
Hails to the Evil One!!
Pink0™: Yeah! What that guy said!
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Fascio (plural: fasci) is an Italian word literally meaning "fagot" (as in a bundle of sticks), and figuratively "league". During the 19th century, the bundle of rods, in Latin called 'fasces' and in Italian 'fascio', came to symbolize strength through unity, the point being that whilst each independent rod was fragile, as a bundle they were strong. The term was used to refer to political groups of many different (and sometimes opposing) orientations. A number of nationalist fasci later evolved into the 20th century movement known as fascism.
In other words - fascism is an authoritarian/totalitarian political philosophy that puts the well-being of the group (state, party, class) above the well-being of the individual.
Thus, if you thought some racist, homophobic, jingo-spouting right wing fruitcake was a fascist for supporting the Iraq war, you could just call him (or her) a 'faggot' and - semantically - you would be making an accurate literal assesment. The term 'fag' on the other hand - being shorthand for 'faggot', is of course a similar reference to 'bundle of sticks' and as such, is more often used to denote homosexuality.
Obviously, since women don't have sticks, the term 'dyke' was used to instead - an oblique reference the vulva via the use of a levee or a sloped wall designed to to regulate water levels. Thus, any ditch or a drainage field would be considered a 'dyke', as would a Roman aqueduct. Thus, Fags and Dykes built the Roman Empire.
Or: 'ax', is an implement that has been used for millenia to shape, split and cut wood, harvest timber, as a weapon and a ceremonial or heraldic symbol. The axe has many forms and specialized uses but generally consists of an axe head with a handle, or helve.
The earliest examples of axes have heads of stone with some form of wooden handle attached (hafted) in a method to suit the available materials and use. Axes made of copper, bronze, iron, steel appeared as these technologies developed.
The axe is an example of a simple machine, as it is a type of wedge, or dual inclined plane. This reduces the effort needed by the wood chopper. It splits the wood into two parts by the pressure concentration at the blade. The handle of the axe also acts as a lever allowing the user to increase the force at the cutting edge—not using the full length of the handle is known as choking the axe. For fine chopping using a side axe this sometimes is a positive effect, but for felling with a double bitted axe it reduces efficiency. Generally cutting axes have a shallow wedge angle, whereas splitting axes have a deeper angle. Most axes are double beveled, i.e. symmetrical about the axis of the blade, but some specialist broadaxes have a single bevel blade, and usually an offset handle that allows them to be used for finishing work without putting the user's knuckles at risk of injury. Less common today, they were once an integral part of a joiner and carpenter's tool kit, not just a tool for use in forestry. A tool of similar origin is the billhook. However in France and Holland the billhook often replaced the axe as a joiner's bench tool.
Most modern axes have steel heads and wooden handles, typically hickory in the US and ash in Europe, although plastic or fiberglass handles are also common. Modern axes are specialized by use, size and form. Hafted axes with short handles designed for use with one hand are often called hand axes but the term hand axe refers to axes without handles as well. Hatchets tend to be small hafted axes often with a hammer on the back side ( the poll). As easy to make weapons, axes have frequently been used in combat.
The root of “axe” in the literal sense of “tool for chopping” is the Old English “aex” from a Germanic root with descendants in several other languages. The variant spelling “ax” was the more popular until the 19th century, but “axe” now seems more popular. Since few of us still chop our own firewood, the most common use of “axe” today is probably in the phrase “to get the axe” meaning “to be fired or dismissed” in allusion to the effects of the executioner’s axe in pre-cubicle days.
As is often the case with bladed weapons such as knives, swords or daggers, the AXE is also a metaphor for a sharp mind. And since it is not tied in a bundled with other sticks, but rather stands alone - it is also a symbol for the power if individual autonomy and self actualization.
Axe as GuitarKiss, of course, is a dinosaur-rock band beloved by twelve-year olds, and the band name is not normally capitalized (except by their fans, who capitalize pretty much everything they type).
The use of “axe” as slang for a musical instrument dates back to 1955, i.e., in the edenic pre-Kiss days. Legend has it that the instrument to which “axe” was first applied however, was not the guitar, but rather the saxophone. The logic may have been simply the “sax/axe” rhyme, but another theory ties “axe” to the “swing” of a jazz sax player in full stride. “Axe” was also later applied to the trumpet before becoming accepted as slang for the guitar, a use which has probably persisted in part because of the instrument’s resemblance to an actual axe.
The piece of crap Made in China™ toy pictured above is of course a video-game controller for a popular KISS™ related game or some such. KISS™, of course, is a dinosaur-rock band beloved by twelve-year olds, and the band name is not normally capitalized (except by their fans, who are known to occasionally capitalize pretty much everything we type).
Axe™ ia a line of toxic-waste like products - produced, marketed and distributed by Corporate America™, that not only successfully depletes the ozone layer, but also kills thousands of baby bunnies every time it's used by another horny teenage boy caught in the deadly grips of a quasi-porno-esque ad-campaign.
The term 'titties' of course has little to do with axes at all. However, sometimes older women are called 'battle axes' if they're not very nice. Unless they have nice titties in which case they are called 'cougars'. I don't make these memes up folks I just propagate them,
The breasts of a male or female can be called 'titties'. However, the female breast can also be called any of the following:
APPLES; BALCONY BALLOONS; BANGERS; BAZONGAS; BAZOOMS; BEAN BAGS; BIG BROWN EYES; BON-BONS; BOOBIES; BOOBS; BOTTLES; BOULDERS; BULLETS; BUMPERS; BUSTERS; BUMPER BUSTERS; BUTTERBAGS; CANTELOUPES; GAZONGAS; GLANDS; GLOBES; GRAPEFRUITS; GUAVAS; HANDFULLS; HAND-WARMERS; HEADERS; HEADUGHTS; HILLS; HONKERS; HOOTERS; HOWITZERS; JABOOS; JIBS; JUGS; JUMBOS; KAZONGAS; KNOBS; KNOCKERS; LACTOIDS; LOAVES; LOBLOLLIES; LOVE; BUBBLES; BAUBBLES; LOVE MUFFINS; LULUS; LUNGS; MAMMETS; MAMS; MANGOES; MEATBALLS; MEAT; LOAVES; MELONS; MILK; CANS; MILK; SHOP; MOUNDS; MOUNT OF ULIES; MOUNTAINS; MUFFINS; MULLIGANS; MURPHIES; NANCIES; NATURE'S FONTS; NIBLETS; NINNIES; NIPPERS; NODULES; NOOGIES; NUBBIES; NUTS; ORANGES; ORBS; OTTOMANS; PAIR PALOOKAS; PAPAYAS; PAPS; PEACHES; PEAKS; PEARS; PECTS; PEEPERS; PILLOWS; PIPS; POKERS; PONTOONS; POTATOES; PUMPKINS; PUMPS; RIB CUSHIONS; ROUNDIES; SANDBAGS; SCONES; SCOOPS; SET; SHAKERS; SHIMMIES; SKIN SACKS; SNUGGLE PUPS; SPHERES; SPUDS; STACKS; STUFFING; SWEATER MEAT; SWEET ROLLS; SWINGERS; TAMALES; TETONS; TIDBITS; TITS; TITTERS; TOMATOES; TOOTERS; TORPEDOES; TWANGERS; TWIN PEAKS; TWOFERS; UMLAUTS; UPPER DECK WALDOS; WARHEADS; WARTS; WATERMELONS; WHOPPERS; WOBBLERS; WONGAS; YABBOS; YAMS; ... or: ZEPPELINS
Notice that almost all of these terms happen to correspond to products that are available to the American consumer. Thus, Capitalists have been embedding sexist messages in our language for a very very long time. Since I believe that breasts should - pardon the expression - stand on their own (be autonomous, or free from associations with products or commodities), I have every intention of henceforth simply referring to them simply as 'AXEs'!
Thus, roughly translated, "Yo girl, lemme axe you a question" means:"Titties!"
And no, that is not racist!
Pink0™: So what's it like being a demigod?
Lucifer: Well, honestly... It's a rough life. When I was cast out of 'heaven', I lost my company expense account and all of my frequent flyer miles. Now I have to fly coach with a bunch of lesser demons - which sucks cause my wings never fit in the seat and I end up having to ride the whole flight hunched-over like I'm bracing for a crash.
Pink0™: Um... This might sound like a stupid question... But if you have wings...
I can't fly anymore! Not since 9/11, the Patriot Act and the Idiocracy of the Bush/Cheney era. The last time I tried to fly, I almost got my wings shot-off at the hands of some gung-ho half-wit who aparently thought that I was either a Decepticon™ or a time-traveling Soviet Mig.
The poor schmuck probably did his combat training on a Nintendo 64.
Pink0™: That blows! Surely there are some perks? How are things in the dating dept.?
Lucifer: (shrugs) It probably all boils down to apathy and ambivalence on my part. Not much point in dating or reproducing, what with the world coming to an end and all. If I'd known that giving fire to you people would lead to all of this... Let's just say I'd still be kicking it in the penthouse with my 72 black-eyed virgins. Maybe if I can get this damned oil-pipe fixed the 'old man' will let me back into the house.
Pink0™: Fix the pipe?! What? You are an engineer now?
Lucifer: (indignant) Hello?! I am the light bringer! The father of science! I single-handedly invented the entire field of engineering!
What about you? You some sort of 'Gonzo Journalist' now?
Pink0™: (feigning embarrassment) Yeah, I guess... Sort of... But I'm sure the readers are sick of hearing about old Pink0™ by now. You... You on the other hand - you're like the original rock star!
Lucifer: (shrugs) Yeah, somebody got the screwed up idea in their head that I'm a musician - something about the mathematical continuity of spacetime and the relationship between chromatic and audible scales. Plus, I alway get mistaken for Pan - who, I might ad is a total dick! Go figure. Fuck rockstars! That's bourgeoisie, 20th Century crap. "Do you know me? I'm not really a rebel but I play one on TV."
Of-course, these days it's rap and 'hip-hop'. Same shit, different day. I haven't heard any decent rap since 'Tribe Called Quest' disbanded.
As for enjoying myself, I used to be quite the libertine.
Pink0™: Libertine? Are we talkin' Adam Ant circa 1982 or the Marquis de Sade circa 1782?
Lucifer: (eyebrows raised) We're talking: full-on man-whore. I was a total slut. Just ask any of my former girlfriends, they can all attest - there was no quenching the fires of my lust.
Pink0™: I can dig it... Weird
Pink0™: For some reason, you talking about being a 'man whore' made me think of Leda and the Swan
Lucifer: Well that makes perfect sense.
Pink0™: Really Why?
Lucifer: Well for starters, swans symbolize 'conjugal fidelity', because it is believed that a sawn never takes another mate after the death of it's first.
Pink0™: Oh right, I think I read that somewhere... Do tell.
Lucifer: Well the Swan in this case of course, was Zues - now there was an unquenchable lust! That guy's attitude was about as far from 'monogamy' or 'conjugal fidelity', as you can get. So by juxtaposing the myth of Zues with the symbolism of the Swan, the Greeks created a paradoxical recursion in the story.
Pink0™: You mean like: "This sentence is false"
Lucifer: Yes, but far more subtle and pregnant with meaning. Like the idea that rebellion taken to an extreme devolves in the same authoritarianism it initially sought to overcome. Just as Zues' lust for Leda compelled him to take the form of that which he was not. Power corrupts. People compromise. But - to the best of my knowledge - no one has ever successfully codified, deciphered, solved or recorded the solution to that most ancient of political problems: When to compromise? Surely a great evil is always done by those unflinching autocrats who steadfastly refuse to bend - a policy that invariably ends in the cruel treatment of their denizens. But so too is evil done by those who - so eager to win the good will of everyone - end up satisfying no one. And how many despots have been made? Rising to power on a wave of populist sentiment and then quickly replacing their initial calls for revolution, peace, tollerance and equality with calls for 'business as usual'?
Pink0™: Right! That makes perfect sense... "Meet the new boss..."-
Lucifer: (finishing sentence) -"Same as the old boss"
Pink0™: Right... But let's get back to you: Lucifer.
Lucifer: Well... Then, I apparently got bored, listless and petulant. Vanity will do that to you. Then Dürer went and immortalized my sorrow in that 'Melencolia I' piece and now everyone seems to think I'm just a playa hatin' sad sack. I swear if I hear one more person say: "you can hate the playa..."... Schmucks.
Pink0™: I agree! I can hate the game... And I do. In fact, I feel the complete opposite of that little trope. I feel like: I could hate the playa - but it just makes more sense to hate the game.
Lucifer: That's because - like me - you have this thing called a "brain" that makes you do crazy shit like "think" and "feel". When people actually think about things, it gets in the way of their ability to blindly follow. As well as their ability to successfully assimilate and/or propogate BS memes like that one. That's why I am so tormented: I can't run along with the crowd because I can see that they are headed like lemmings for a very steep cliff.
Pink0™: So are we the Catchers in the Rye?
Lucifer: No, because we can't possibly stop anyone from running off the cliff. And we know this. There is no Catcher - that is just the kind of wishfull thinking that leads to totalitarianism and blind trust in government/corporations/priests/politicians. The idea that people can elect a daddy/god/big-brotherlfather-figure to stand around and keep us out of trouble while we run around with our friends doing whatever the hell we want and forfeiting any and all personal responsibility. The truth is that life is hard and is filled with uncertainty. It is fear of uncertainty that leads people to seek leadership and new laws. But it is the leaders and the laws that they should be afraid of - not their own capacity to look after themselves.
Pink0™: Bummer! That's quite a conundrum!
Lucifer: Yeah, like I said: That's why I am so tormented.
Pink0™: Well, you do seem tormented. But personally, I think it has less to do with your vanity, your pride or any kind of 'original sin' and a lot more to do with your empathy toward humanity and the planet as well as your... Reluctant grace?
Lucifer: (shrugs) Yeah. well... I guess I'll snap out of it when I'm good and ready... Or not.
I kind-of need to be that way. You see... Like most gods, demi-gods, angels or demons... I have a potentially dangerous, slightly overactive streak of hedonism that I have to keep in check with an iron grip.
Pink0™: Ah yes, the famous Lucifarian libido! You mean like how Spock has to keep his powerful Vulcan emotions in check and comes-off as coldly calculating and overly logical as a result?
Lucifer: (eyebrows raised) Never took you for a 'trekie', dweeb...
Pink0™: Oh, I'm no 'trekie'. Trust me, I find the Star Trek™ franchise to be one of the hoakiest, most unrealistic portrayals of 'The Future™' ever conceived. It's such blatant pro-Capitalist™ propaganda, it's not even funny. Don't even get me started on fucking Star Trek™.
It's just that I noticed: every time Spock flips out and Kirk has to slap the shit out of him - there's a woman or sex involved somewhere.
Lucifer: (visibly relieved) Okay, cool... We're on the same page with Star Trek™
Anyway: Yes... Similar to the way that Spock must keep his emotions in check - I too must keep my raw, burning sensuality held firmly in check. Otherwise, the fire consumes me.
Example: Remember Zues? That asshole was a rapist!
Pink0™: (winking, while doing a bad Buthead-chuckling impression) You said "held firmly..."
Lucifer: Ha ha... Very clever.
Pink0™: Not really! You walked right into it. Get a grip! Freak!
Lucifer: (rolling eyes) `Scuse me for not being down with all that postmodern irony you kids are into these days. How's that workin out for you?
Pink0™: What? 'Post modern irony' or 'Being clever'?
Lucifer: Being clever
Pink0™: Pretty good... I saw that movie too.
Lucifer: Of course you did.
Pink0™: So wait... What about postmodern irony?
Lucifer: You know, like US... Well, just you really - sitting around bitching about Capitalism™ with a bunch of Amazon ads on your silly blog.
Pink0™: Oh you mean Popomo™
Lucifer: Popomo™ ?
Pink0™: Yeah, Popomo™ ... Don't you watch the interwebs? I started the Popomo Virus the instant I found out what Post-Modern meant. I just had to add another 'Post' for it to seem culturally relevant! ... Not sure how or when it escaped my brain or who else might've had a natural-born infection like mine but it got out there... It's very popular.
Lucifer: Oh, so Po-po-mo... Jesus, that's pretty bleak.
Pink0™: That's cynicism for you. Anyway, I don't see why you need a point to enjoy yourself ... Makes it worth cramming as much as you can in."
Lucifer: (winks)... You mean like you crammed that double-entendre in? I'm kidding - it was very subtle.
Pink0™: You were great as Tyler Durden by the way.
Lucifer: Thanks, so were you.
Pink0™: Fag! (laughs)
Lucifer: Homophobe! (laughs)
I see all this potential, and I see squandering... an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very, pissed off!
Like I said: I used to be quite the libertine, but vanity will do that to you.
Pink0™: Sure... Vanity, ridicule, scorn, mocking, derision... You name it.
Lucifer: Hey, I appreciate the sympathy, but I really don't think a 'victim mentality' suits me very well.
Pink0™: No, you're far too strong-willed for that shit. You do seem pretty tormented though.
Lucifer: Yeah well, like I said: I'll snap out of it when I'm damned-well good and ready.
Pink0™: K... So... Read any good books lately?
Lucifer: Yeah, I finally got around to reading Neil Stephenson's Cryptonomicon. That was a fun read. Vapid, self righteous, Capitalist drivel... But a fun read none the less. Now I'm about half-way through William Gibson's 'Spook Country'. So far, so good - but the jury's still out.
Pink0™: Wow! Been awhile since I heard Gibson's name bantied about. I loved Burning Chrome.
Lucifer: 'Burning Chrome' was awesome.
Pink0™: Anything 'Chromatic' or otherwise chrome-related is awesome.
Lucifer: True Dat!
Pink0™: Are you a Chrome fan?
Lucifer: The band?
Lucifer: I liked them until I saw them live. Helios Creed is a total douche who wouldn't know the doctrine of a solar deity if it bit him on his non-existed wannabe rockstar ass. Like I said, fuck rockstars! Crypto-fascist capitalists.
Pink0™: What about Damon?
Lucifer: Damon was dead by then. They had some Scottish guy doing the synths. He was pretty cool, we shot the shit for awhile.
Pink0™: The King is Dead
In unison: Long live the king!
Pink0™: So do you read anything besides sci-fi?
Lucifer: Obviously, my interests lean toward Hunter S., Philip K. Dick, Burroughs, Gibson, Stephenson... Basically: anything pertaining to 'panoptics' is fascinating to me.
Pink0™: So are you interested in tech in a general sense or strictly in a sociologic sense?
Lucifer: Yes and yes... Nothing more potentially panoptic than the power of VOIP... How marvelously creepy that we all have cell-phones more powerful than cold war supercomputers.
Pink0™: Okay, enough of all this highfalootin' intellectualizin'. The ladies out there want to know: Are you single? Are you looking?
Lucifer: No and No, Yes and Yes, Yes and No... I haven't dated anyone or even had sex since some time around the late-sixties, early-seventies, so... I'm not really acclimated to feminism and 'modern' women yet.
But... luckily: I am a very enlightened guy - you might even say the first - so I don't mind dating educated, empowered women. Especially that part where I get to stay home and cook, clean, do-the-laundry, paint, watch-That-70's-Show, write books and blogs and raise the kids.
And - having been behind the discovery of both fire and cooking - I know my way around a kitchen like a prize fighter knows his way around the ring.
Pink0™: That-70's-Show?! Jesus! And you gave me shit about freakin' Star Trek™ ferkrisakes!
Lucifer: 'That-70's-Show' rulez!
Pink0™: Well... I guess it does have those two mega hotties.
Lucifer: Fez and Kelso?
Pink0™: Ha Ha... No, dumbass - Jackie and Donna!
Lucifer: And Stephen Hyde! Hello?!
Pink0™: Hyde's not a hottie.
Lucifer: He is if you're a chick.
Pink0™: But I'm not a chick... And neither are you!
Lucifer: Dude! And here I thought it was me that couldn't get my mind out the gutter! Must everything with you revolve around your adolescent sexual proclivities?
Lucifer: Hyde is the perfect embodiment of the Lucifarian archetype! He is the consumate rebel! Hyde says shit like: "The three branches of government are military, corporate and Hollywood" or "Punk rock is the soundtrack to the revolution"
Pink0™: Ghee, I guess your right...
Lucifer: Hell YES I'm right! Hyde calls bullshit when he sees it. He is the rebel with a clue. By far, the most genuinely moral character on the show. Certainly the coolest. Anyone who can tell a bouncer at a disco that he's "propping up a dying system" is alright by me.
Pink0™: Okay, you're right... but television blows! You said something about the pipe. Tell us more.
Lucifer: (somber) I am deeply concerned.
Pink0™: (sympathetic) I can tell
Lucifer: (teary-eyed) You know - Contrary to popular beleif, I care deeply for your species.
Pink0™:Well sure, that's what got you in trouble in the first place - trying to help us out. I know that. You are love, that is what you do.
Lucifer: May fortune be upon us! They say there's no such thing as an atheist in a fox hole. They also say that if the oceans go - that's it for people... And almost everything else that breathes.
Pink0™: Really?! It's that bad?! I don't want the world to end! Shit! Let's go to Vegas!
Lucifer: If the world ends, at least you will have accomplished something and been self-determined. I'll have to pass on your Vegas invitation, though... Unless there are mushrooms, militant-hookers and an EMP involved.
Pink0™: I was being facetous. Just trying to point out that you are too fucking serious all the time. You need to loosen up. Blow off some steam! Stop worrying so much!
Lucifer: Maybe you're right... Maybe I should just go all out. Have as much fun as possible. Party like it's 1999.
Pink0™: Not necessarily. You could do something creative. Write a book maybe.
Lucifer: Hell, if writing books fell through-
Pink0™: (interupting) Pretty unlikely!
Lucifer: Yeah, thanks... Anyway, if writing books fell through - I could always buy a video camera and get rich making porn. Only if Muse helps though - no man is an island.
Pink0™: Dude, you almost belong in the sixties! No wonder we are fucked as a species. When good old fashioned libertines are reduced to the commodification of sex-
Lucifer: (interupting) Very Good!
Lucifer: You caught right on. I was illustrating a point about the inherent amorality of Capitalism and how it leads to the commodification and destruction of anything and everything - meaningful or otherwise.
Pink0™: Ahhh... Devil's advocate as it were!
Pink0™: So the hair...?
Lucifer: The hair cycles. It's too hot down here for long hair-
Pink0™: Down here? Don't you mean Down there?
Lucifer: No, I mean down here! Global warming, remember? I'm from heaven originally.
Pink0™: Oh right. Sorry, go on...
Lucifer: Anyway, it's too hot down here for long hair - but I refuse to pay $60 for a haircut. So about every 3-6 months I say: 'Hello Wahl'. It's called: 'fiscal responsibility'.
Someday - when I seize the throne - not only will everyone get a free, state-issued Wahl, but I will socialize Aveda and Neutrogena and the state will proceed to furnish everyone with (12) $60 haircuts (a year) - plus a nice collection of bath & beauty supplies and a free, global, 'light-rail' system that goes to all four corners of the Earth.
Pink0™: That sounds bad ass! Sign me up! ...Light Rail you said? (winks) I get it...
Lucifer: You're sharp!
Pink0™: Damned straight!
Lucifer: Yes, in fact - I'm even calling it Lucifarian Light Rail, or: LLR for short. How's that for a New World Order?
Pink0™: Hey, maybe you could even get H.R. Giger to design some unholy, demonic-looking, ployhedral monstrosity of a train-terminal - like his submission to the Swiss government that he talked about in the 'Giger.Com' book - so that when people boarded the trains-
Lucifer: (interupting) That will always run on time.
Pink0™: I'm sorry?
Lucifer: That old Communist thing - about the trains always running on time...
Pink0™: Oh right! Sorry - a little slow on the uptake. Anyway... So when people boarded the trains, they will know that-
Lucifer: (interupting) That I am their unquestioned lord and master... The Beast!
Lucifer: Just kidding.
Lucifer: (laughs) Thanks, I just cleaned it... It should smoke fine now.
Pink0™: (laughs) One more thing... What do you say to your detractors. Those who say that Green Democracy will never work because there are just too many idiots out therew who shouldn't get a say.
Lucifer: Typically, I don't say anything to those people.
Thay aren't worth discussing it with. You cannot sell someone on ideas like equality or social justice. They are either enlightened or they aren't. If they aren't: then they eventually either come-around on their own, or they don't. But most people simply go along with whatever the crowd is doing. The entire sixties counterculture probably consisted of 60 or 80 hardcore radicals and untold legions of empty-headed followers.
You see, some detractors are simply fools blindly following fools following fools. Other detractors are professionals about it - which is to say, they are on the take.
Pink0™: You mean like think tanks and stuff?
Lucifer: Think tanks, corporate loby and trade industry groups, for-profit non-profits which are basically the same thing. We are not only dealing with aggregates of people anymore but aggregates of aggregates of aggregates.
Thus, it is often difficult if not impossible to determine which set of detractors one is dealing with. Either way, you won't get too far.
So I guess if I said anything to those people, it would probably be something along the lines of:
"I know there are too many idiots out there - and apparently they're already all helping to shape public policy as we speak. Who is 'sane' or intelligent among us? Joe Biden? (maybe) John McCain? (not so much) How about Sarah Palin? Is she 'sane' or intelligent? At least if we had an actual democracy - where actual people had an actual say in what actually gets legislated - progressive policies like universal healthcare and bailouts for working class people might have a - pardon the expression - snowball's chance... Until then, we're all just slaves to the corporataucracy."
Pink0™: Even you Lucifer?
Lucifer: Even me.
Pink0™: It's true folks - the devil is in the Details™